Chapter 15

 

After they had eaten and Fubuki had made sure Jun was properly rehydrated, he dragged him into the bedroom, specifically to cuddle, as the older man had stated with no shame. Apparently he thought Jun needed it, and who was Jun to say no when he’d gone so many years without caring physical contact. Until a few days ago when he ran into Juudai, it had been so many years since someone just… cared about him in earnest.

 

As they were settling down, he thought he heard Fubuki mumble something about showing him how real brothers are supposed to treat their siblings, before he swaddled him in the blankets both from the bed and the livingroom. Then he curled up next to him and wrapped his arms around the burrito Jun now was. He patted his head and for a while they just stayed there in silence.

 

Ten minutes later, Fubuki spoke again. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but… what happened?”

 

For a few seconds Jun’s heart started racing again at the memories of what brought him to this situation, but when Fubuki noticed he took his hands and guided him through deep breaths. Jun sighed, feeling pathetic. “It’s stupid.”

 

“I’m sure it isn’t.”

 

“You’re only saying that cus you don’t know.” He rolled over to lie on his back, Cheeseburger finally getting enough room to squish herself between the two men, making herself comfortable. Fubuki gave the hand he was still holding a firm squeeze, ensuring him that he wouldn’t mock him for whatever he was going to say. “I tried to leave the apartment but I freaked out. I just… my brothers are right here, in this city, it just… it hit me that I could just… run into them at any time and I just. I just… ugh, it’s so pathetic.”

 

Fubuki pulled him into an awkward (due to the cat between them) but comforting hug. “It’s not pathetic. You’re traumatised, it’s okay for you to not feel okay, you know that right?”

 

“Asuka and Misawa never traumatised me, and I still puked on the train coming here.”

 

“Sure, but the brain doesn’t always make sense. I still get freaked out if I see certain things that remind me of Nightshroud, and it’s been years. But that doesn’t make me pathetic.” The difference was that he hadn’t had to go through it alone. He’d had his sister, his boyfriend and his friends. Jun hadn’t had anyone by his side for so long, terrified of the day his own family would realise he wasn’t actually dead. He would make sure he wouldn’t have to feel alone when he was afraid ever again.

 

️

When Misawa came back home, Jun was sleeping, Fubuki’s arm draped over the nest of blankets while the older man hummed a silent tune. He carefully got out of bed so as to not wake the other up, and greeted Misawa with a low “hi” and a quick “he’s sleeping” when Misawa was about to ask him what he was doing there. They went into the kitchen where the dishes still needed to be washed after the pizza, but it was ignored for now.

 

“I think he had a panic attack,” Fubuki started, tone low so it didn’t carry all the way to the second bedroom. “He tried to leave the apartment but had to throw up, called me all freaked out. He’s a lot worse than we thought.”

 

“No surprise there, he needs a therapist. Do you think he’ll be willing to see one?”

 

Leaning back in the chair, Fubuki pulled a leg up to wrap his arms around in front of him. “Not the way he is right now. He’s too scared to go out of the apartment, I don’t think he’ll trust strangers for a little while. Maybe if the therapist came here and it was someone he could be ensured somehow he could trust, but… we should try.”

 

“Jun from high school would be way too stubborn to ever see one, but he’s a completely different person now. I think you’re right, it wouldn’t be pride stopping him this time.” Given by what they now knew of Jun’s family situation, Jun would have needed therapy back then already. Now the need for it had increased many times over.

 

“I’m gonna talk to Ryo about it. He’s seen a few therapists over the years, he might have some recommendations. I know he was really hesitant to see one at first, but he’s a lot better for it. Still my stubborn nerd though.”

 

That had Misawa smile and chuckle. “I doubt he’ll ever stop being stubborn. But at least he knows how to handle his emotions now.”

 

“And for that I’m thankful. I love him to bits but he needed help I couldn’t give him at the time.” He twirled a curl of hair around his finger as he mulled over their options. “I’m gonna give Ryo a call, tell him I’m staying here for a few hours longer, ask him to look through his therapists. Can you call Juudai, ask him to come over, spend the night? I think Jun-kun needs him right now, Asuka said they’ve gotten extremely close since Juudai found him.”

 

“Of course. He really didn’t want to leave yesterday, so I’m sure he’ll be eager to.”

 

“Okay. You go change out of your work clothes and I’ll call Ryo from here. I’ll go wake Jun-kun up when we’re done with the calls, give him a heads up on if Juudai shows. If he can’t come I’ll stay the night instead. I know you’re not comfortable sharing beds with people just like that.”

 

“Thank you. I’ll be back as soon as I’ve called him.”

 

️

Juudai was in the middle of a smash bros battle with Syo and Kenzan when the phone called. With so much else on his mind, he was, for once, losing. He couldn’t help it, he felt like he should be in a completely different part of the city, messy black hair and tired, sad eyes the last thing he’d seen of the friend he’d been missing for so many years.

 

He answered, phone pressed between ear and shoulder as he moved the controls of the switch. “‘Lo?”

 

“Is this you, Juudai?”  Instantly, Juudai lowered the controllers, Isabelle falling off the screen and respawning without moving. Syo and Kenzan paused, looking at him.

 

“Daichi? Did something happen to Jun?”

 

“Not anything serious, but… it seems like Jun had some sort of panic attack and called Fubuki. Fubuki’s wondering if you would be willing to spend the night?”

 

“Crap. Of course. I’ll be right over. See you in a little bit.” He hung up and quickly stood up. “Sorry guys, I gotta go.”

 

He ensured them that it wasn’t anything too bad so they wouldn’t worry too much, and then he was out of there.

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